Some of My Favorite Words of Wisdom

When a man meets the woman he loves, everything changes

His heart races, his head spins

And suddenly all the dozens and dozens of women he's sleeping with no longer matter

A few years ago, I found the woman I love

And I put some of my feelings into this little ode

Every man needs a woman, and I need you

To lift me when I am sad

To comfort me when I'm down

To clean me when I am drunk

To walk beside me when I want to look like I'm not gay

To walk in front of me when I need someone to act as a human windbreak

To kiss me when I am horny

To massage me when I am tense and/or horny

To make me horny when I am not horny

And then to watch me fall asleep

I need you darling, to clean between my toes when they are not clean to my satisfaction

To pick the nits out of my hair when I have head lice

To try milk for me when I am not sure of the expiration date

To be there when I need you to be there

And to be out of town the rest of the time

My darling, although it may seem sentimental

I want to take this moment to tell you I love you,

Because I don't want to loose half my stuff

And even though you are far away across the ocean

I always have this ring to remind me

Sorry

Goodnight my love

~Steve Martin

"Some Days It's A Good Day To Die, Some Days It's A Good Day to Have Breakfast."

~Thomas Builds the Fire, Smoke Signals

"Everybody's lost except me!"

~Indiana Jones, ...and the Last Crusade

"I'm am having a particularly LOW vocabulary day, so: F#CK YOU!!!"

~Claire60 60 842, (Lindsay)

"Is it Safe?"

~Randal, Animated CLERKS

"What planet did I dial?"

~Matt, Digimon

"I went into the native american chat room and they all left when i said 'Hey Victor!'!"

~Bob Blair

"...unlike the humans in our city, those in the Forbidden City are mad. Mad enough not to want peace and friendship... but emnity and war."

~Caeser, Battle for the Planet of the Apes

"Contemplate the mangled bodies of your countrymen, and then say, What should be the reward of such sacrifices? Shall we bow to the avarice of the men who have let loose on us the dogs of war to riot in our blood and hunt us from the face of the earth? If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom - go from us in peace. We ask not your counsel or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen!"

~Samuel Adams, 1776

"There be no shelter here! The front line is everywhere!"

~Rage Against the Machine "No Shelter"

"A man must face himself before he can face his enemies!"

~Tai, Digimon

"I didnt start it Mr. Ambassador. But I'm liable to finish it."

~James T. Kirk, Star Trek

"I came from a world where the people believed that the opposite of war was peace. We found out the hard way that the opposite of war is more often slavery. And that strength, strength alone, can support freedom."

~Captain Apollo, Battlestar Galactica

"No dictator, no invader can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power tyrants and dictators can not stand. ...Although it take a thousand years, we will be free."

~G'Kar, Babylon 5

"Here's what I really think: I think there's such a thing as an American attitude. It manifests itself in the candidates we like and in those we don't. Just as a human being possesses a soul as well as a body, this country has a spirit as well as a geography. You're ill-advised to tread on us, our self-respect, or our Social Security."

~Chris Matthews, Hardball

"...from this place, we will deliver notice to the parliaments of conquerors that a line has been drawn against the darkness, and we will hold that line, no matter the cost."

~Capt. Sheridan, Babylon 5

"Then the sixth angel poured out his bowl on the great river Euphrates, and its water was dried up, so that the way of the kings from the east might be prepared. And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs coming out of the mouth of the dragon, out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet. For they are spirits of demons, performing signs, which go out to the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty. 'Behold, I am coming as a thief. Blessed is he who watches, and keeps his garments, lest he walk naked and they see his shame.' And they gathered them together to the place called, in Hebrew, Armageddon."

~Revelations 16:12-16

"He wanted to protect the innocent, and separate the darkness from the light. But he didn't realize the light only shines in the dark, and sometimes innocence is just an excuse for the guilty."

~Maj. Kira Nerys, Star Trek DS9

"Your irresponsibility could destroy the entire world and you must be stopped. Now prepare to feel my wrath!

...BACK TO DARKNESS WITH YOU!!!"

~MagnaAngemon, Digimon